Emotions

Well, have been asking this question for the past few days and still have no answer.

The question: why do I get upset, and why don't I like to be upset?

It started off when I posted a comment at one of the regular blogs I visit, and I got "bombarded" by others (well, it's actually one reader, an idiotic one somemore, let's call him Mr Goon). The topic we touched on was "democracy in HK". Okay, I was being a BIG kaypoh when I posted that comment but it's just my two cents worth and did not expect such vehemence from another fellow reader. What irked me was he misinterpreted and misunderstood my comment, and that got me very upset. Very very upset indeed.

Am not sure you're following me, but that particular upset feeling is/was terrible. I didn't feel good (of course lah, needless to say) and had to resort to asking around for opinions to support my views and made me feel better. Although I did receive similar views but somehow the gnawing upset feeling did not want to go away. Not afraid to admit I was cursing Mr Goon within me. Was cursing his ancestors all the way. Very not nice of me, but hey, he asked for it :(.

Anyway, my point is I do not like to get upset and to think that an idiot upset me was really the limit. My evening was spoilt and I was trying means and ways to calm myself. Kept psychoing myself to cool down and forget the whole issue. Luckily, I didn't lose sleep over it.

I still get quite touchy (this may not describe the feeling appropriately), whenever I think of it, even as when I'm writing this post. I am a peace loving person, yes, believe it or not. I don't like people around me to talk loudly or raise their voices; don't like doors being slammed or closed noisily; don't like when people throw things to vent their anger; don't like when I'm wrongly accused; don't like smart alecks, especially they're acting like idiots of the century; and the worst, don't like when people sit on my emails/messages and feign ignorance. All these, will raise the alarm bell within me. And, it really really irks me.

My solution? To avoid the above at all costs. You may think that I am running away from reality. Maybe I am, but this is the only solution I can think of and choose. Everyone can talk and live the way he/she chooses to be, and I cannot dictate. Since I am unable to draw parallel with them, avoiding/ignoring them seems to be the best bet, for now.

I like to keep my emotional level at balance, being happy and hilarious are exceptions. I know I cannot live like a hermit coz ultimately I need friends, real kosher friends, to be precise.

So, if you are reading this, please be a sport, don't come and upset me.